Chris’ dad emailed us a copy of the toast he gave to Chris and I on our wedding day. It was beautiful, it made us cry, and I don’t ever want to forget it. Hopefully I can add some pics soon.
“In so many respects, the marriage of a child is, for the parents, the final letting go.
That bittersweet moment when you feel so compelled to hold that child close, yet you are bursting with joy that he has found a life partner.
I think both Josephine and I feel this so acutely with Christopher.
For he has a generosity of spirit unmatched by almost anyone I know.
He has had the good fortune of finding in Danielle someone who shares that same ideal of giving,
That same expansive world view.
On a purely practical level Josephine now loses her real estate agent, her building contractor and her stateside driver.
I lose my IT consultant and my walking breathing personal google.
We both lose our exclusiveness to his affection, yet gain the knowledge we will be sharing him now with someone who loves him almost as much as we do.
I now want to read a poem by Alice Walker which describes the kind of love we see in Chris and Danielle.
by Alice Walker
We reach for destinies beyond
what we have come to know
and in the romantic hush
the other’s life
as known mystery.
Shared. But inviolate.
No melting. No squeezing
We swing our eyes around
as well as side to side
to see the world.
To choose, renounce,
this, or that —
call it a council between equals
call it love.
Rather than becoming one in your love for each other,
Use your love for each other to discover and mend the world.
Do not look inward to nurture and grow your love.
Look outward into the world, discover its mysteries.
And share what you learn, while holding each other’s hands,
As you move through this life you now share.
You are both so uniquely suited to take this journey together.
So, let’s raise our glasses and toast Chris and Danielle.
Together, in this life journey may you find
Adventure, Discovery, Beauty and Peace – all good stuff.
But, may you also Together
Develop the muscles needed to overcome sorrow
Together, use your amazing talents and that humor you possess in such generous supply
To seek justice for the ills you find
And in that way, your love for each other will only grow
And sustain you and those you touch along the way
Know in the deepest part of you that
We in this house wrap you in
A blanket of love and affection.”